A little while ago I scribbled out a little character. Lately I've been taking this imaginary subject as sort of a mental template for dedicated practice; basically if I can't think of anything to draw or need to warm up, I'll draw her to test things out.
This year one of my goals has been to take a concentarted effort to try and refine my craft, put stuff out there, try and get noticed, and who knows, maybe get paid for this.
For the last three weeks since the start of the new year, I've been attempting to grind and level up as best as I can, which more often than not is a slow process that starts with finding a first push of momentum. About five to ten minutes of dragging my pen over the tablet seems to do the trick...until I run out of steam, unable to decide what to draw.
I caught up on Castlevania: Nocturne on Netflix over the weekend to try and jostle something into inspiration. I found myself morbid captivated by this minor character, the nameless Captain of the French Revolutionary Guard who was turned into a night creature as a nod to one of the video game enemies, the Frozen Shade. The horror of her second unlife juxtaposed well with the series' themes of elevating oneself over oppression.
It's not a bad show, but to call it an adaptation of Rondo of Blood is to really stretch the meaning of the word. For what it was I enjoyed it overall, and from an aesthetic point of view, Castlevania has always been visually interesting.
As an artist, I found that while I still enjoy drawing figures and sketching, my inking is rudimentary and I'm still no painter. I'd like to improve my skills as a colorist, and referencing stills form the show gave me something to study.
Been a long time since I used this blog, may as well dust it off.
Following some internet friends from parts elsewhere, this November I'm going to attempt to go through the designated modules of this National Novel Writing Month outline, the theory being that structure might help to nail down something coherent, and deadlines induce productivity. It had been the case with Inktober, but this is a different medium entirely, and while words are in some cases freeing, they are also more abstract in conveyance.
Anywho as Gertrude said before Polonius got stabbed in the curtains, more matter, and less art. Let's chronicle the process.
Right off the bad I may have constrained myself in needing to answer something, and so in response to what I interpreted as the question "What is this story about," I heard rumblings of old college classes echoing in my thoughts. The answer to this question can be broken down in a few ways and I found myself wanting, depending on how I'd interpreted the question.
1) What happens in this story?
As the story has not been written, inspiration is fickle, and I try not to get too excited about things, I couldn't formulate any neat one-word answers to this, only rambling. However, curiosity, there's a great many things I'd considered in, at the risk of sounding pretentious, the high-concept stuff.
2) What do you want to say?
There are a great many things I feel strongly about, yet I wouldn't feel quite right about making this story an author's moral tract. The concerns for the issues of the moment have a way of forcing stories into allegory or dating them immediately, which while useful when there's a point to be made, I don't have a soapbox to stand on right now, so let's just try to have fun.
3) What are the themes of this story?
Back to the high-concept stuff, painting a swathe of ideas with the broadest brush would at least get me a start. And so I present...
Wishes, fantasy, illusion, delusion, perception, magic, faith, belief, pathos, collective consciousness, inner psychology, manifestation, schema, projecting root concepts, sublimation defense mechanisms, denial, will, reason, dynamic interplay between self and world, blending inner and outer conflict, assertion of the ego, validation of the self, dreams into nightmares, semiotics (performance) of the self as defined by the contexts/constraints (conformity) of the world
Following the rubric, I played mad libs with craptacular list to try and sting together a sense of what I wanted to write about.
Novel Idea 1: |
Performance of the self as defined by context of the world... |
...used as a defense mechanism... |
...to make dreams into nightmares |
Novel Idea 2: |
Assertion of the ego... |
...into the delusion... |
...of fantasy |
Novel Idea 3: |
Manifestation of the collective consciousness… |
...in an interplay between self and the world... |
...but in the denial of reason validating will. |
“Dreams come true” is a broad idea, and realizing it in reality, manifesting it, is commonly used to get the ball rolling on the path there. As the cliché goes, it is the journey, not the destination, that offer fulfillment and meaning.
All too human is the need for instant gratification. Whether it is a fulfillment of a momentary whim or to turn the tide on terrible fortunes, the ability to manifest will into reality is a boon. With an ego untempered by the journey, with urges lashing out to destroy to spite creation, this would cause a horrible imbalance.
Gary was once a poor unfortunate soul who by chance, fate had conspired to grant him the powers to realize his dreams on a whim. All he would need to do is will it, and so would it be, the power of all things with but a mere thought. However, because he has a small imagination, many urges unfulfilled without outlets, what started as trepidation and uncertainty with the power of manifestation gradually turns into solipsism that leaves him more isolated than before. Who could be lonelier than a god caged off in his own heaven?
